Guinness Stout Brownies, or The Greatest Thing I've Ever Shoved Into My Mouth

So remember a while back when I was lamenting the fact that Husband doesn't really like sweets? Fixed it.

We are a Guinness household. It's the main beer we buy. Sometimes we get Murphy's Stout (aptly named, don't you agree?) or Yuengling Black and Tan, but we're really a Guinness house. Husband loves the stuff. Would have it morning, noon, and night if he could. And I'm rather fond of it myself. Even Wee One has had some experience with the brew.

 (In which Wee One swipes Daddy's beer and pours it all over himself, with hilarious and cute results.)

 

So when I found a recipe for Guinness Stout Brownies, I had to try it. I mean, Guinness and chocolate all in one recipe? Hell yes.

Though I followed this recipe pretty closely, I always tend to diverge from the path and add my own flare to everything I make.

I didn't bother running to the grocery store for anything, since I had some left over chocolate and we always have Guinness at the house, so I basically used what we had.

Firstly, I put my stout on the stove to start reducing. (You're basically making a beer syrup, so that flavor is concentrated in the brownies.) *And although the recipe says it should just take 15 minutes, don't believe it. Mine took quite a long time to reduce, so don't worry. Patience is a virtue.*

I added all my chocolate--reserving some white chips to sprinkle over the top--into a bowl and then added the butter. Since I don't have a double broiler though, I just microwaved my chocolate. It works just as well, so long as you make sure to take the bowl out and stir every 20-30 seconds. Don't overheat it though!

While my chocolate was melting away, I started on the other ingredients, namely the cocoa and flour and eggs and sugar and such.

Above is the picture of the melted chocolate added to the egg and sugar mixture, then the flour and cocoa added as well. It'll look thick now, but just wait.

Instead of vanilla extract, since we haven't actually had any on hand since before the holidays, I used Cake Jack rum instead. I figured, what the hey. More booze never hurt. So I added it to the batter, then poured in the beer reduction.

The batter will become SUPER liquid-y at this point. Don't worry though, it's supposed to be that way. Pour your batter into your prepared pan and then sprinkle your reserved chocolate chips over the top.

Pop your pan into the oven and set your timer, then give your Husband and or your toddler a spoon to lick.

And before anyone gets onto me for giving Wee One a spoon of Guinness batter, I'm gonna go ahead and tell you to be quiet. All of the alcohol was cooked out at this point and the rum hadn't been added yet, so sit down and shut up with your "Oh my god, whatever possessed her to do that"s. My child, my house, my rules. If Wee One wants to lick a spoon, he licks a spoon. Take your preachin' somewhere else.

Now, let us carry on.

Once your brownies are done, take them out of the oven and let them cool to room temperature before cutting and enjoying. (I know, it's hard to wait, but trust me.)

This is my new favorite brownie recipe. I was disappointed that I couldn't really taste the beer right off, but they were richer and more moist than any brownies I've ever had/made. This is definitely one you need to try, whether you like Guinness or not. Like I said, it's not overwhelmingly Guinness-y. It's just plain good.

Until next time, Kitchen Comrades! I think I may be off to the grocery store to buy some chocolate chips and make another batch of these...

Banana Pudding Poke Cake, or How To Please Your Father In Law

I love sweets. We've established this, yes? My slight obsession with desserts and confections and baking and everything that comes with it? Good. It's very important.

Have we also talked about my time spent on pinterest? I love that site. And by love, I mean I can lose about five hours of time whilst perusing it.

Where is this going, you might be asking. Well, recipes and pinterest seem to go together like peas and carrots, bread and butter, green olives and ice cream. (Is that last one just me? Okay, noted.) That's basically 50% of the site, really. The other 50% consists of people who have too much time and patience with which to do their nails, workout plans that just make me want to eat more, collections of "dream wardrobes" that no one will ever make enough money to actually purchase, and crafts I'll never have time to replicate. But I'm mostly there for the food, as with any shindig.

A while back--okay, a LOOOOONG while back, there some a get together at my mother-in-law's place. I really can't even remember how long ago, but I'm pretty sure it was in between Thanksgiving and Christmas... I volunteered to bring a dessert, and I had one that I really wanted to try from Pinterest!

Have you ever heard of a poke cake? I'd seen them all over the interwebs and was intrigued.

I used this recipe, but you could just as easily make your own cake instead of using a box mix, make your own homemade pudding, and make homemade whipped cream as well. Since I needed this to be snappy though, I used boxed mixes. (Intentionally leaves out the part of the story where she tried to do a homemade cake, but she dropped the pan on the floor and fed the not-so-broken-not-so-dirty pieces to herself and Wee One...)

When you do is mix up your cake batter and bake it according to your recipe.

When it's finished baking, take the pan out of the oven and grab either a wooden spoon, a plastic spoon, or a drum stick if your husband happens to be a drummer. You don't have to wait for the cake to cool down before poking tons of holes all over it, making sure to get down to the very bottom of the pan.

After you've made all of your holes, you can begin to mix up your pudding.

You're going to want to pour the pudding over the hole-y cake as soon as it's mixed up, so that it's still pourable and not as thick as you'd want it if you were just eating pudding.

Make sure to use your spoon to really smooth the pudding over the cake, and slam the pan down on the counter a few times to get the pudding to really settle into the holes. After you've gotten all the pudding spread over the cake, you can then let it cool in the fridge for a bit. Once it's cool, grab your whipped topping and start spooning and spreading over the top.

But whatever you do, don't, I repeat DON'T use your vanilla wafer cookies to scoop the remaining whipped topping out of the container and then eat the now-whipped-topping-coated cookie. That would just be unseemly.

When you're ready to serve the cake, grab your bag of (hopefully still there) vanilla wafer cookies and crumble some over the top of the whipped topping. You want them to still be firm, not soggy, so save this step for the last minute.

Serve with a tall glass of milk and enjoy your poke cake!

Until next time, Kitchen Comrades!

Nerdy Mama Makes Bread Pudding or Screw Diamonds, Carbs And Booze Are A Girl's Best Friend!

When I married Husband, I assumed he was a normal bloke. He liked Guinness and good music and was cute, so I didn't ask a lot of questions. Little did I know though, that he's one of those strange people who doesn't like sweets. I was shocked. I was floored. Not like cookies? Not like cake? What is this madness!?!?

In the (nearly) three years we've been married I think I've probably made a grand total of 4 sweets he's actually liked. PLAIN oatmeal cookies (no raisins, no chocolate chips, no nothing!), homemade oreo cookies, plain vanilla cupcakes, and a chocolate Guinness cake with very little Bailey's cream icing. Four.

So sufficed to say, when I make sweets, it's up to me and Wee One to devour them. Tragic, I know.

Recently, I got a craving for something full of carbs and sweetness. Surprising, yes?

As any intelligent woman would, I took to Pinterest and sought out the goodness I so desperately craved. What did I find?

Bread Pudding.

Not just any bread pudding mind you, Bread Pudding with Bourbon Sauce.

I was ecstatic. Carbs, sweets, AND BOOZE? WHAT COULD BE BETTER?

I'm glad you asked actually, because it DOES get better. The recipe is based off of the infamous one from Bon Ton Cafe in New Orleans, my absolute, all-time favorite restaurant in the history of ever. I'm not kidding. If you EVER go to New Orleans, even for just a few hours on a layover, GO TO THIS PLACE!!!! I ORDER YOU!!!! They have the world's greatest crawfish etouffe. Oh my god, just thinking about it is making me salivate.

Okay, back to the business at hand: Bread Pudding.

I was ecstatic, found recipe, Bon Ton, blah, blah, blah... Right! So, I immediately set to work figuring out what I needed for the recipe, and luckily enough, we had an entire baguette in our pantry that we'd forgotten about and had gone too hard to eat without breaking your teeth. Tres bon!

Until, that is, I realized I'd never made bread pudding before. Eaten it, yes; but actually made it, not once. In our school cafeteria, they used to serve huge truncheons of it in one of the hot lines, and I am not the least bit ashamed to say that I completely skipped actual food on those days and dined solely on bread pudding. (Pretty sure I'm not the only one though...) It was delicious. Flecked with plump, warm raisins and covered in caramel sauce. Mmmm...

So I became utterly terrified that I would not be able to reproduce the Bread Pudding of my yesteryear.

But I overcame that fear, I rose above it and began to assemble my ingredients.

First obstacle: We had no bourbon. (I know, I was shocked too!) And despite his fondness for bread pudding, Husband totally nixed the idea of using a cup of whiskey to be cooked down into a "meager sauce". (Insert eye roll here.) So there went the bourbon sauce.

I rolled with it though. I grabbed a bottle of Bullit Rye Whiskey and tossed a bit in with the milk and bread that was soaking in it, replacing the vanilla extract. (Husband even agreed to letting me put raisins in it. Blew my mind.) I popped my soggy bread into the oven and realized that I needed a sauce that would be just as delicious as the recipe's, but not include bourbon. I figured a caramel sauce would suffice.

As I often do, I turned to The Pioneer Woman, Ree Drummond. I had all the ingredients for her caramel sauce, so I went with it.

That's when I realized that vanilla extract is basically just vanilla beans soaked in BOOZE! (Alright, I understand that's not really what it is, as vanilla beans soaked in booze is technically a tincture, not an extract, but go with me on this one.) I grabbed the Rye Whiskey again and replaced the vanilla in this recipe with it as well; it created...THE NECTAR OF THE GODS!!!!

I kid you not people, I would have been happy drinking this stuff with a straw. I've never tasted anything so sinfully good before, and I've tasted a lot of sinful things. (Alright, you get one dirty joke, then keep reading. Made your joke? Good, now let's continue)

As happy as I was with the sauce, and as content as I would have been eating it by itself, my timer alerted me to the fact that the pudding was finished.

I pulled it out of the oven, smelled it, and purred.

There is nothing that beats the smell of bread fresh from the oven, except maybe the smell of fresh bread pudding. The cinnamon and the pinch of allspice and the raisins all mingled together along with the butter and the cream and the baguette to create an absolutely singular scent.

As we all know, bread pudding is best served warm, right out of the oven. So, I spooned some into a bowl for me, one for Husband, and one for Wee One to share as well. Then I spooned the whiskey-caramel sauce over mine and proceeded to dig in.

There are no words, my friends, to describe the serenity that a bowl of warm, boozy carbs will give you. And in fact, there don't need to be. You know why? Because this recipe is so simple that you can go and make it yourself. Right now. Go!

 Until next time, Kitchen Comrades!